Doubt

This morning I had an interview at a Private Daycare in Bentonville for a position as an Infant Teacher. I applied for the position several weeks ago and was contacted about the interview last week. I was really proud of my application and wrote an impressive cover letter to top my resume. Anyway, the interview went well and I was invited to come back tomorrow to shadow the other infant teachers. Twenty minutes ago I received an email from the director of the Daycare who interviewed me. Her email was to inform me that, upon further inspection of my application, she felt that I was not the proper fit for the position. I was devastated. I have NEVER in my life been refused a job that I had interviewed for. up until today, every single job I have ever interviewed for I have received. It was SUCH a blow to my pride. I immediately began to feel disappointment, despair, and dismay. And basically, that's where I'm at. I am full of doubt now. Just full of it. I know doubt isn't necessarily the healthiest emotion, but it IS an emotion. And emotions are signals that our body gives us to send us a message. I feel uncertain and afraid. I'm not a billion percent sure that I get what my body is trying to tell me by sending me such strong signals of doubt, but maybe my body wants me to know that I need to be better prepared. Or maybe my body wants me to take a second to figure myself out. Maybe I need to step back and ask myself, "what do I really want?" and "who do I want to be?" I can't help but wonder what it was in my application that made me less of an enticing candidate. I kind of want to ask. I'm not sure that I will. But I do wonder. Maye it was that I have held lots of positions working with children, but they were all under a year. I hope that's what it was. If it is, I'd feel a lot less bad about myself right now. I suppose I should still count my blessings. I do HAVE a job and there is definitely opportunity for advancement. But do I want to work for Charming Charlie for the next year or two years? Do I really want to keep working retail? Definitely not. If I had it my way, I would be going to school right now. And maybe I should be. I have GOT to get an education. Because, despite what Pink Floyd says, we really do need an education. All right. I'm gonna wrap it up. I guess that In closing... life is hard. And sometimes you don't feel good enough. But it doesn't always have to feel that way.